The Marauders in first year frolics
by Miss Lupin
Summary: Join Lily Evans, James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew in their first year at Hogwarts! They make new friends and make new enemies (*Cough*Lucius *Cough* Snape)
1. It begins

****

Chapter1

"Are you scared yet Lily? You should be" Said Petunia in a cold way " I heard they give you a sterilization before you go into that freak school."

"Shut up Petunia! Lily, Just ignore her!" grumbled Rose, sitting in between her two sisters and being absolutely fed up with both. Petunia was a muggle who was deeply resentful being the middle sister, let alone an unmagical one.

Petunia was the odd one out of the three sisters, being tall and thin with a long neck. Her black hair was a irritation of both sisters. Lily was the youngest, just starting her first year at Hogwarts, Usually considered the cutest. She and Rose got along well and even looked a bit alike, both with freckles, although Rose had brown hair that clashed with Lily's fiery red hair. Rose herself was the oldest, also magical and fascinated with spirit logy and the Dark Arts. She was starting her third year at Hogwarts.

" No seriously, that's why Rose is so weird, they'll give you a sterilization and then drug you up reeeaal good!" Petunia said smugly, glad to see her little sister, Lily, completely terrified.

"SHUT UP NOW PETUNIA DAISY EVANS!" Rose barked.

"Make me" Petunia said sticking her tongue out at Rose. Rose reached into her bag and pulled out her wand.

"Lily watch closely this is called.. " Rose quickly made a name up in her head " The Sistosis curse. It slowly drives siblings insane." she pointed the tip of her wand at Petunias forehead.

"MUM!" Petunia wailed as fire or six sparks flew out the end of rose's wand. Petunias eyes rolled back as she passed out. 

"Problem solved" snickered Rose. Lily smiled and pushed Petunia of Rose's lap. Just then the car stopped. The car door swung open to reveal the girls Mum. " We're almost there but we're just stopping off here in London. Petunia" Started Mrs Evans "Petunia, do you want to come with me and tell me which of these you need?" Mrs Evans consulted a long list of prescription vitamins. Lily and Rose shot a frantic look at each other before propping Petunia up.

"Mum, she's asleep!" lied Lily. Rose tried not to laugh , and tried to keep Petunia up straight.

" Well wake her up we haven't got all day!" Mrs Evans said.

"I hope I don't get in trouble for this" Muttered Rose pointing her wand at Petunia and mumbling "Revitius" 

Petunia suddenly woke up and shrieked "Mum Rose was using magic on me!" 

"Nonsense" started Mrs Evans " It was just a dream , come on dear, now which one of these do you need?" She handed the list to Petunia.

Petunia sniffed and said "Voltron, Jacitamol and Pactercil" She then handed the list back to her Mum. 

"Now you three girls behave yourselves for your father, alright?" Asked Mrs Evans getting out of the car. The sisters followed and stood by the car to wait. They watched their Mum till she was out of sight. 

Immediately Petunia caught Rose by the collar and growled " Take this stupid curse off me, NOW!" 

"Shut up you little pipsqueak, I didn't put a curse on you, It was all a dream!" Rose hissed back. Petunia smacked Rose across the face. Rose squeaked and glared furiously at her. Lily suddenly stepped forward 

"Stop that now!" Lily shouted as Rose grabbed a handful of Petunias black hair. Suddenly both sisters were slammed up against the cars side. Rose then took out her wand and pointed it at petunia, who yet again black out! 

** **

Chapter 2

"Rosey what have you got in here?" asked Mr Evans, pulling rose's trunk out of the car

"Let's see…my sneakocscope, wand, prank books" 

" No more pranks this year!" Started Mr Evans "Buckle down and study! Last year you failed everything but Potions, Spiritology and Defence Against the Dark Art!" Mr Evans looked down at his daughters, both of them " and Lily don't listen to anything Rose says, Ahh.. At least you have a light trunk" he sighed as he handed the trunk to Lily.

"Come on Lily!" said Rose impatiently, starting to drag her trunk behind her and scuffle her shoes across the pavement outside Kings Cross station. "Good bye Mum, Good bye dad" Rose said as she kissed her mum and dad. "Bye Petunia" She hugged he sister and whispered in her ear " I really did curse you"

Then Rose grabbed Lily by the arm and started to drag her through the gate and into Kings Cross. The bustling train station was nearly packed to the brim with people ready to go to boarding schools across the country. About six of them were carrying something incriminating to them. Some had owls, others were in their robes and there was one boy trying to calm his pet puff skein down.

Lily looked around as she stopped between platforms nine and ten " Platforms nine and three quarters.. Now where's that?" She asked. Opposite her , a boy was repeating the same thing. Rose instantly recognised the boy and tapped him on the shoulder. 

"We meet again Mr Potter!" Rose said in a deep voice.

"Huh? Oh! Hi Rose!" The boy said, looking around him at the same time "You wouldn't know where platform nine and three quarters is would you?" he asked hopefully.

"Of course I do, oh and by the way this is my little sister Lily, Its her first time to." Rose grabbed Lily's arm and shoved her in front of the dark haired boy.

"Oh I remember you!" Lily said "Rose helped you get that book down in Flourish and blotts, am I right?" she asked, they both nodded.

" It's James first time at Hogwarts school too, only he's from a wizarding family!" said Rose "A boy after my own heart, We were both reaching for the same book!"

Lily butted in "1001 pranks to cause chaos, Right?" Lily asked

"How'd you know?" said James in a sarcastic way.

Rose gripped both of them by their arms and turned her back on the wall between the two platforms. "What're you doing Rose?" asked James looking at her as if she were mad.

"Bringing you to nine and tree quarters. Now close your eyes." she warned. She took one small step forward then started to run backwards. A second later they all tumbled into the busy world of the invisible platform.

"Wow!" breathed Lily.

"Ditto!" agreed James

"Aw, you'll get used to it" said Rose "The first time I was here Lucia had to grab my hand and haul me through, since I accidentally smacked against the wall of number ten!"

Rose stood quite for a second or two "well speak of the devil" she run over to a girl and held her hand "Lucia how's things?" Rose asked

"The usual, you know?" started Lucia while fiddling with her hair " My brother being a pest, oh and my brothers friend starts this year, but I'm seriously dreading roll-call" she murmured.

"How come?" asked Lily. Rose kicked her.

" Because my parents just thought it would be the cutest thing to name my twin brother and I nearly the same thing. Most teachers end up calling Lucia twice" Lucia rolled her eyes.

"Poor thing" said Rose

"Pity me!" Lucia said dramatically.

"Yes pity, pity, pity, pity…but at least your not the only girl in your house in your year!" Rose said while patting Lucia on the head.

"You're the only girl in your house?" asked Lily

"She's the only third year Gryffindor girl." Lucia said taking her turn to pet Rose. "She's great friends with almost everyone though.!" Laughed Lucia.

"Nearly everyone?" asked James

"Well at least Lily didn't ask it!" Sighed Rose

Lucia then said "nearly everyone, she'll make friends with everyone as long they like muggle born witches and wizards!" Lucia rolled her eyes. "She's weird in that way" "Anyway come on Rose I have to introduce you to my brothers friend, you'll like him, except he is a first year!"

"Forget your brothers friend, give me your brother any day!" Giggled Rose

"Eeeeeeeeew, Rose!!" Shrieked Lucia.

****

Chapter 3

James and two other boys were trooping around the station, dragging Lily behind them.

One of the boys was desperately trying to talk an other out of letting a bag of dung bombs of on the train.

"Don't get ideas Sirius!" pleaded peter.

"Ignore him, Sirius get ideas get lots of ideas!" urged James. Lily laughed and rolled he eyes. 

"Aw, what's the use in getting idea if Peter won't let me use them…you spoil all the fun Peter!" Sirius grumbled.

"I do not!. You just have a warped idea of fun." Peter started "You're idea of fun involves Slytherins, leglocker curses and some well placed stairs!"

"don't forget the Dungbombs Peter, I do believe you hit on an idea there!" Sirius said. James and Lily both rolled their eyes.

"I'd image you'd die if you got sorted into Slytherin!" grinned James.

"Slytherin! I'd kill myself! My god, don't even suggest that James Potter!" Sirius said while clutching his heart. "Imagine being thrown into to Slytherin with the likes of…the likes of…" he trailed off.

"You don't even know any Slytherins do you, Siri?" asked Lily

"Okay so I don't and do not call me Siri!" Sirius said a bit huffily. 

"What say we try going back on to the platform?" asked James

"Come on then, Lets try it backwards like James did!" Sirius said

"Well' fall apart, I'll bet you" said James

"I'll wager that we don't!" Lily said "Ten Galleons says we get through with out falling apart" she linked arms with Sirius and James.

"I'd say that's an unfair bet" Sirius warned James.

"Eh" shrugged James

"Ok on the count of three we start running backwards, one…two…three" said Lily.

They began to run backwards before all of them yelled and ran into another unfortunate first year. They all toppled over and landed in a big heap.

"Unfair!" grumbled Lily " Oh I'm so sorry!" she realised that she was actually sitting on someone. She quickly got up and pulled the boy to his feet.

"That's ok" the boy said as he stumbled backwards and held his head.

"Hey, I'm not that heavy!" exclaimed Lily

"I'll say you are, you're standing on me now Lily" Sirius grumbled.

"Oh sorry Siri!" she squeaked.

"Don't call me Siri!!" he yelled.

"Are you alright?" James asked the boy. 

"Yeah just…about…getting my bearings" The boy mumbled nodding his head.

"That must have been pretty nasty having Lily fall on top of you. Are you sure your ok?" James asked again, as Lily jabbed him sharply in the ribs at the remark.

"I'm fine really!" The boy repeated. Everything turned into an awkward silence.

"Um lets introduce ourselves…Hi I'm Sirius Black, That's James Potter, That's Lilly Evans and that's Peter Pettigrew, spoiler of everything fun!" Sirius said.

"Hi my names Remus, Remus Lupin pleased to meet you…I think?"

"What do you mean, you think? You should be pleased to meet such a dazzling beauty!" Stated Lily proudly.

James looked around "Where?" he asked, be before dodging a swipe at him enforced by Lily. " See Remus, Lilly will hit you for not even do anything!" he said.

"So are you a first year?" asked Peter

"Mmhmm" Remus mumbled, looking sideways with a misty look.

"Remus? Wakey, wakey?" Lily said waving a hand in front of Remus's eyes.

"Nuh? Oh! Yeah! First year" he said suddenly all alert.

"What house were you hoping to be in?" asked Sirius.

"Don't know. I'd hope Gryffindor but I'll probably end up in Slytherin somehow." Remus said.

"Don't be so darn negative!" Rose said as she appeared from the wall. She immediately made herself comfortable by leaning on Remus's head.

"Hello, and your name is?" Asked Sirius. Rose giggled

"My reputation proceeds me! I am the great Rose Violet Evans, the wower of such people as Micheal Wood and Sean Finnegan, and the only third year Gryffindor girl able to do the Macarena!" She said dramatically.

"She's the only third year girl, full stop. He has a dorm all to herself, it's not fair!" laughed Lily.

"Uh..Huh…Oh Great Rose Violet Evans, Wower of such people as Micheal Wood and Sean Finnegan and the only Gryffindor third year girl able to do the Macarena, tell us, Why have you graced us with your presence?" Sirius asked in a slightly sarcastically. 

"Hush up Sirius!" Rose replied 

"Hey! How'd you know my name!?" Sirius asked in a suspicious way.

"Because it says your name on your bag. Sirius looked down and as plain as day was the name Sirius. G .Black.

"What's the G stand for?" asked Lily

"None of your business!" snapped Sirius

"I know what it is!" Said James in a cocky way

"You say anything Potter and I kill you!" shouted Sirius.

"Oh come on Sirius live on the wild side!" exclaimed Rose

Suddenly Peter piped up "Don't even SUGGEST that to him unless you like his version of living on the wild side! Three werewolves let loose in the Gryffindor tower!" Yelped Peter, but Remus looked very uneasy and not just because Rose was still leaning on him.

"Aw, come on nothing was broken in my house!" stated Sirius

"Yeah except your Mum's will to live" James added.

"Excuse me…Um…Miss Evans…could you get off my head please?" Remus asked Rose. Rose grinned

"Sure, anything for a pretty face!" she said

"I don't have a pretty face" said Remus

"You do too, you have the cutest face!" squealed Rose

"Rose don't start!" Warned Lily.

Rose switched from Remus to Lily, smiling. There was a moment of silence before a train whistle blew. "Yah! We can go! C'mon!" Rose grabbed Lily, Sirius, Remus and James, and told Peter to follow because she had no more room, she then yelled over to Lucia and then bolted towards the train dragging the poor first years behind her.

****

Chapter 4

"You guys wait here I'll be right back, just going to talk a bit to Lucy and Lou." Rose panted, shoving them into an empty compartment.

"What say we run off on her?" asked Lily

"No way I like her she's got…well she's got…She's unique" James said

"I like her too…even though she does seem to think my head is an arm rest" mumbled Remus

"You only like 'cause she thinks your pretty!" Sirius teased

"I'm NOT pretty!" 

"Are Too!"

"Nah ah"

"Yah huh"

"Nah ah"

"YAH HUH"

"NAH AH"

"Stop it both of you! It's so childish!" said Peter loudly.

"I'll show you childish. Watch I can make Peter giggle like a girl" James grinned.

"Excuse me!" said Lily

"Oh no offence" said James

"I don't giggle like a girl!!" Peter said 

"AUGH! This is worse then at the breakfast table at my house!" Screamed Lily

"Why, what's the breakfast table at your house like?" asked Remus

"Well It's pine, we keep in the middle of the kitchen.." started Lily

"I don't think that's what he means Lily dear" said Rose, appearing again and dragging three people behind her. The Lily realised what Remus actually meant.

" Oh! Right, well, every morning Petunia will come down and start insulting us, then while Rose pretends to curse Petunia. While I try to stop them from killing each other!" Groaned Lily.

"I wouldn't kill her! Just wound her" Rose added

"So who are your friends?" asked Peter

"oh um… you know Lucia, this is her twin brother Luscious (cruel isn't it?) and that's Severus" Rose grinned " Lily's a first year too" she added to Severus. James suddenly closed his eyes. 

"Are you alright James?" Rose asked.

"Mmm…Eyes are a bit tied that's all" he said while reaching under his glasses and rubbing his eyes. Sirius rolled his eyes.

"That's right mine too" Lied Sirius 

"Bad eye sight it runs in my family.. Better just have a quick rest" said Peter. Lily blinked and looked at the three boys pretending to sleep.

"Any bad eyesight run in your family Remus?" Rose questioned.

"No ,not really" replied Remus.

"Great! In that case you can sit next to Severus!" She Grinned.

The other three boys let their head bang onto the table at the same time, each mumbling "That idiot."

****

Chapter 5 

After 5 minutes, the whole compartment was deathly silent. Lily was very uncomfortably sitting to one side, In between James and Severus who weren't all that keen on being within a five mile radii of each other. Remus was on the other side, looking like if he was trapped in the compartment for five more minutes would kill himself.

Sirius was clearly aiming elastic bands at Severus's head, missing and hitting Lily and James all the while. 

"Sirius you do have terrible aim" grumbled Lily, rubbing her head and shooting the elastic band back which hit Sirius dead on between the eyes. 

Sirius gasped "I'm wounded, I'm dieing! Betrayed by my own kind! What a world! What a world!" he slid off the sit , covering his head with his hands and looking half dead.

Remus cleared his throat " Rose does my head look like a giant piece of kibble?" He asked.

"Sorry!" Rose snapped back after staring at Remus non-stop for fifteen minutes straight. She turned about twenty degrees and contented herself with staring at Severus instead, with a far away look in her eyes. 

"I often wonder what she's thinking about when she does that!" Lily said

"Probably something along the lines of throwing cream pies at an alive version of Professor Binns" Lucia said bemusedly.

"Or imagining Professor Trelawney on a surfboard in old fashioned swimming gear shouting 'Cowabunga Dude!'" Lucius.

"She really brings the worst in you, you know that right?" Lucia sighed.

"Ahem…Evans, will you stop?" Severus lost his patience with Rose. Rose frowned 

"Well you've changed" She said mistily. Severus blinked. 

"Excuse me?" he asked

"I said, you've…you don't remember?…oh of course sorry!" Rose said, turning to stare at Sirius.

"I guess it's my turn?" He stated.

"You, my friend haven't changed a bit. A bit cuter maybe?" Ro se giggled

Sirius raised an eyebrow "Am I the only person she's creeping out?" He asked aloud.

Lily put up her hand. James followed. Severus rolled his eyes, indicating he agreed in his own little way. Lucius put up his hand. Lucia grinned and did the same. Peter put up his hand too, after James nudged him slightly. 

Rose looked very hurt and looked to the only person with out their hand up. "Remus? Are you against me too?" asked Rose faking tears. "I'm unloved!" she sobbed dramatically.

"I'm not weirded out" Remus. Rose smiled and hugged him, making him blush.

"Awww!" squealed Lucia and Lily.

"Oh, hilarious" Remus mumbled sarcastically.

"It's cute!" They cooed.

Rose looked up suddenly "Guys we're almost there now, look! There's the castle in the distance look! Home sweet home!" Rose said. Lily hit her "Sorry Home away from Home" Rose quickly rephrased. Lucia and her brother dove for their trunks.

"Hallelujah! I can get out of these muggle clothes!" Lucia cried , pulling on her robes. "Well…sort of" She added, pulling them over her clothes.

"What's wrong with muggle clothes?" asked Lily, as she pulled her robes over her head.

"Nothing, if you grew up wearing them" said James now halfway into his trunk altogether. "Now - where- are-those -robes?" he mumbled.

"Well maybe if you had a smaller trunk you wouldn't have this problem!" said Rose.

"But then where would I put all my Dungbombs?" asked James before he fell into his trunk altogether and the lid slamming shut, clicking the lock.

"I don't believe it, he's locked in!" laughed Sirius.

"I believe you're right!" Giggled Lily. The lid of the trunk started banging as James tried to get out. No one moved. 

"To release or not to release, that is the question" said Sirius thoughtfully.

"I'm suffocating in here!" came a muffled answer.

"We'll leave him" finished Rose.

Lily pushed her sister out of the way, and tried to open the lock. "James, don't panic, the lock is…stuck.." Lily called.

There was a strangled choke and a thump as the trunk turned over altogether. Another thump and it turned over again.

"Trust James…he's got an opening at the back" sighed Peter, noticing a square made of different wood. Lily grabbed a hold of the square and hauled it off.

"He's obviously at the bottom of this mess…James? I can see your hand at least" Said Rose. Lucia peered over her shoulder .

"Uh, Guys? Do you think that you can help me?" James called to his other three boy mates. Sirius, Remus and Peter all shook their heads. 

" The girls seem to be doing a fine there, James!" Sirius said.

Suddenly a question popped into Rose's head " I wonder whether James wears boxers or briefs?" Rose mused. 

"Ok, Now we'll help" said Sirius as all three boys got up at once "He doesn't need to be any more embarrassed then he is now" Sirius said as him and Remus grabbed on of James hands each and pulled until the rest of him followed.

"Owww! I've been hit on the head with at least five books!" whined James " Why does magic have to have so much history? He asked as he pushed the book 'a history of magic' away from him.

****

Chapter 6

"It's freezing out here!" shivered Lily. She was as bundled up as she could get but was still cold. They'd somehow managed to squash six of them into one boat, and some how Lily yet again ended up squashed between Severus and James, who were both glaring straight ahead and looking extremely unhappy about being stuck together again.

"Remind me again" said Lily breaking the silence " Who's bright idea was it not to separate?" Sirius and James pointed at each other, while everyone else pointed back at Lily. "Ho right, my idea, sorry" she blushed " Everyone makes mistakes" 

Remus sighed heavily, this time he had to bear the brunt of Sirius and his elastic bands. He was still trying to hit Severus, and his aim was improving but Remus was sitting right in front of Severus in the first place.

Lily very carefully and slowly got up and turned to sit down beside Remus instead, instantly being hit with an elastic band.

"Why don't James and Severus seem to be getting along well?" she whispered . Remus shrugged. "Look at you! Your freezing!" she said suddenly.

"I'm fine" he mumbled She took off her scarf from around her neck and gave it to him.

"Don't want you catching a cold, if we end up in the same house you'll keep us all night sneezing" she laughed weakly as she pulled her scarf round his neck.

"Are we there yet?" asked Sirius.

"Knock it off your worse than Rose!" Lily grumbled.

" No one is worse than that girl Rose! She seriously scares me!" Sirius shivered.

"Don't you start shivering to!" Lily warned "Plus you'll get used to Rose and once you do she's great fun. I mean she is one of the world's greatest pranksters!" she added. "She….well would you look at that! Isn't it beautiful?" she gasped as the school came into view. There was an immediate dip as 6 heads turned at once to look.

"Wow!" mumbled James 

"It's…nice!" said Peter

"It's amazing!" said Lily almost going starry eyed.

"Oh my lord that's creepy!" Added Remus

"It's not that creepy" Lily said.

"It is Lily your eyes glow in the dark!" Remus shuddered.

" Oh.. Well….you'll get used to it!" Said Lily, immediately closing her eyes.

"Well if you think that's creepy you should hear Sirius's middle name!" Said James.

"Potter I'm warning you!" Sirius cautioned

"Well what's it worth to you?" James enquired

"How about 3 galleons and a chocolate frog!" Sirius pleaded

"I'll give you 4 galleons and 2 chocolate frogs, just for James to tell us!" Lily added

"Alright!" James said quickly!

"No!" Sirius screamed "James I'll give you my first offer, plus, All my witch and wizard cards!" 

"Any more bids?" Said James out loud. Everyone went quite except for Sirius who was pleaded for James to say…

"OK Sirius! You win!" Said James.

"Oh yeah, who the man baby!" said Sirius pointing at Lily.

"Um.. To change this so very interesting subject, but what houses do you guys want to be in?" asked Peter tried to change the subject of who the man was.

" Gryffindor!" said James

"Gryffindor or bust" Sirius replied

"Gryffindor or maybe be Ravenclaw ? " added Lily 

" Hufflepuff wouldn't be bad" shrugged Remus.

"Slytherin" said Severus automatically. Sirius and James exchanged looks as they both said under their breath. "of course."

****

Chapter 7

"Sirius, Black!" called Professor McGonagall. Rose sat forward on her seat slightly. "Let's see if he's still Gryffindor material" she whispered to herself. Sirius looked very uncomfortable at being the first called out, but nonetheless sat down on the stool looking slightly nervous. He seemed to relax a bit and closed his eyes.

"GRYFFINDOR!" The hat shouted as Sirius fell off the stool shouting "Who the man baby!"

The whole table was trying not to laugh at Sirius and one or two strangled cheers made their way from some seventh years. Some more names were called out until it came to…

"Lily, Evans!" Rose edged even further off the bench. She'd fall off if she was to go any further. Lily walked up to the stool and smiled at Lily, waving at her and Sirius, who'd sat about a foot away from Rose when he had gone over to the Gryffindor table. 

"GRFFINDOR!" the sorting hat roared. Rose cheered and fell off the bench. 

"She not only off her place, she's off her rocker as well." Sirius spoke quietly.

Lily sat beside Rose looking extremely pleased with herself. After a second or two Rose had to kick Lily as she was humming "We are the champions" continuously.

"Isabella, Figg !" McGonagall called. A blue eyed, black haired girl darted forward, smiling broadly.

"RAVENCLAW!" hollered the hat.

"Aw…" grumbled Lily.

The line dwindled for a while, as two Hufflepuffs, three Ravenclaws and two more Slytherins got sorted, until "Remus Lupin!" was called. Rose and Lily sat forward both whispering "come on Gryffindor" and crossing their fingers. 

"Lupin! What kind of a name is that! It's worse then his first name!" whispered Sirius, as Rose kicked him in the shin. Remus stepped forward and sat on the stool, the hat was placed on his head and it rested on his head for a couple of minutes in silence almost as though it was confused by Remus's mind. The suddenly it roared…

"GRYFFINDOR!

"Wahoo!" cheered Rose and Lily. Sirius just smiled at Remus as he sat down beside him. They were half falling asleep by the time they reached the "N's". There was a longer list this year than there had ever been. Lily had switched places with Rose, since Rose had badgered her to do so.

"Peter Pettigrew!" called McGonagall

This also seemed to take quite a while, and Peter seemed to look more and more nervous until the hat shouted "GRIFFINDOR!" As Peter sat down Sirius clapped Peter hard on the back making him lurch forward and fall.

Remus grinned and helped him up again. "Boys" sighed Rose, Lily and a new Gryffindor girl named Melody.

Next on McGonagalls list was "James Potter!" she hollered. This time when the hat was placed on the answer was instant, straight away the hat shouted "GRYFFINDOR!"

Lily, Rose, Sirius, Peter and Remus all immediately punched the air and screamed "Yes!" Receiving five or six weird looks from the other tables. It was an odd sight and looked as if it had been planned. James sat between Remus and Rose (To which Rose looked severely put off by.)

When the sorting had finished, Rose looked and Lily and Melody. They all said "food" in unison and attacked their plates. "Oi, James!" Rose said through a mouthful. James looked up.

"Yeah?" He replied.

"Catch" Rose tossed some kind of jelly at him, which landed on top of his hair (which didn't even budge)

Sirius looked over and regarded the pink mess on James's hair, scooped up some creamed rice and tossed it back at Rose. Rose shrieked with indignation, and then throw a chicken drumstick at Sirius, which missed and hit Remus on the side of the head.

Remus blinked, picked up the drumstick and tossed it back, which hit Lily, who squeaked and tossed some cheesecake right at Remus's face. and Rose attacked James yet again! Further down the Gryffindor table some one saw this and shouted. "Food Fight!" Instantly all of them were hit with something mushy.

"Eew, chocolate" grumbled Melody. "You'll pay for that Wood!" she shrieked as she hurled an orange at Wood. He caught it in mid air and tossed it toward the Slytherin table. It hit Luscious on his head. Rose looked fiercely at Wood when she saw who the orange hit, suddenly another seven or eight apples and oranges were thrown straight at Wood from the Slytherin table. Rose picked up an apple cut it in half and dropped it down the back of Woods robes.

Lily tried not to get involved, still scooping the chocolate out of her hair until a punch bowl landed on her head. She looked at it oddly for a second then looked over to see Isabella Figg waving at her, standing on the Ravenclaw table. Lily smiled, grabbed tree muffins and hurled them at Isabella, who fell off the table and then appeared again, ruffled at the bottom of the Hufflepuff table. Isabella started to toss carrots back at Lily.

James and Sirius had teamed up and were successfully coating the Slytherin table a nice shade of sugar-pink jelly. Remus was unsuccessfully trying to persuade them to stop. While Peter just tried not to get hit. Lily and Rose decided to team up against Wood and Figg, by swaying Wood to go over and help Isabella, who looked as if she was hurt. Once they were together they started throwing muffins at them. That was until Lily noticed a bowl of melted chocolate.

As both Isabella Figg and Micheal Wood started making their way over to their attackers, Rose and Lily started dipping the muffins into the chocolate before throwing them, resulting in messy brown stains.

Micheal and Isabella ducked, and tried to crawl towards the table instead. Lily and Rose looked around frantically until Melody saw Isabella just a foot away from Rose with a glass of water, grabbed her by the neck of her robes, unbuttoned her top and sloshed the whole glass of water down her robes.

Suddenly Isabella, Melody, Rose and Lily erupted into giggles after hearing the sheik of "YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT YOUNG MAN! When a Hufflepuff boy tossed some pudding towards the teachers table.

Instantly, McGonagall picked up her dinner plate, emptied the contains into her hand and enchanted the food piece by piece to hit the Hufflepuff boy who had managed to hit her. The youngest teacher, Sylvia Sinistra, was already arguing with Professor Flitwick over which charm would make food hit hardest. She finally grabbed her plate and shouted "Let's experiment then!" 

Professor Trelawney was repeating mistily " I foretold this would happen!"

As another teacher, Professor Darry (the potions teacher) had lost his temper and emptied his glass of water right over Professor Trelawney's head.

James and Sirius had stopped attacking the Slytherins to stop and watch the teachers table. Rose on the other hand, saw her opportunity. She picked up a cherry pie and slung it at Professor Kettleburn. It smashed him right in the face.

Lily snickered as she tossed some brussels sprouts at Professor Sprout who caught them in mid air and throw them at the Hufflepuff table. Ravenclaw seemed to have waged an all out war on Slytherin, delighting in adopting James and Sirius's idea and pelting the table with creamed rice.

Slytherin replied by enchanting the food to only hit Ravenclaws, so no matter where they threw it the food would wind up with the Ravenclaws.

Remus finally seemed to have gotten the general idea when Rose emptied a bowl of porridge over his head. He was now trying as hard as he could to repel Melody's attempts to cream him, while persuading Peter to join in. Sean Finnegan groaned. Took a bowl of custard and handed it to Peter. "I double dare you to hit Severus Snape over on the Slytherin table!" Sean urged. 

"It's a double dare Peter you can't ignore it!" Sirius said, as James accidentally hit him with some mashed potato. Sirius abandoned Peter to turn on James.

"Now….Sirius…Don't take it personally…" James said nervously, as Sirius picked up some melted cheese.

"Personally? Nah! This is for Gryffindor!" he emptied the liquefied cheese over James.

"But I'm in Gryffindor too!" James yelled.

"Oh yeah …sorry!" apologised Sirius.

It finally looked like the end of the food fight when Professor Dumbledore stood up. Half the people stopped in their tracks, while the other half continued. Some Ravenclaw first year accidentally missed Professor McGonagall and succeeded in hitting Dumbledore in the head with a orange. "

"I do believe you made a big mistake their, Mr Hinton." Dumbledore said tossing it straight back. 

****

Chapter 8

"Oh my gosh if I ever see food again it will be too soon!" moaned Rose, still trying to get pumpkin seeds out of her hair. All of them were trooping back towards the Gryffindor tower, Rose tagging along with the first years and a prefect. Her eyes lit up suddenly.

"Hey who wants to take a sneaky little shortcut?" she asked.

"Oh don't listen to Rose and her shortcuts!" Lily warned the others. But Rose had already turned to a portrait of a old woman and tapped it sharply with her wand.. It swung up revealing a secret passage. Rose climbed in and beckoned the others.

"Come on old chaps! We haven't got all day!" she said in a fake accent. She pulled them in one by one, flashing a small smile at Remus as she did.

"How'd you find this place?" Sirius asked. But Rose just shrugged and answered.

"It was an accident really, I was making out…"

"I don't need to hear any more!" James said automatically, but Rose carried on.

"I was making out a map of the school my first year, to find my way around, and I was just out of boredom tapping each portrait as I walked. And then I found it!" she finished. " Now Sirius just slam against that dead end." she added

"Do what!?" he asked in disbelief

"Okay watch" she took three steps backwards and dashed right at the dead end, then with a sequel disappeared. As a bright light filled the tunnel.

" Hey this leads right into the girls dorm!" stated James "Wahey!" 

"oh shush!" snapped Lily, pushing passed him. She jumped with a squeak of "ow!"

"Aim for the bed Lily" Rose called

"I'm not jumping down there!" said Sirius

"Why are you afraid of heights?" Remus teased

"No! I just don't want to be caught coming out of the girls dorm!" said Sirius.

James shrugged, turned and shoved Sirius sharply out. He then turned to Peter.

"No need" Peter said immediately, jumping after Sirius.

"I think I'll go back the other way!" said Remus. James tapped his foot impatiently.

"You don't know the way in" James said.

"I'll find it!" Remus assured James

" How? Rose is already down there, I don't know any other way in, and everyone in the higher years will already be in there" James said in a cocky voice. Remus sighed "Atta boy I knew you would see it my way!" 

"OI!HURRY UP YOU TWO!" Rose yelled. Rose appeared after climbing the wall. "Down now!" The two boys sighed as Lily pulled the carpet out from underneath them. "Oh Remus are you alright?" she added after her girly giggles. 

"Fine thanks" said Remus brushing his tatty patched robe. "and James is too!" he added. Rose nodded then she disappeared again.

"I think she likes you!" James said

"Really? what gave you that idea?" Remus replied sarcastically.

"Only the fact that she practically tripped over herself when she thought you were hurt!" James said dryly "You couldn't of missed that!"

"… I was being sarcastic!" said Remus

"Well don't, I can't tell the difference!" James replied. " Well I'm not waiting here all night!"

"Is now a bad time to tell you that I'm afraid of heights?" Remus questioned James.

"Oh no, that's perfect timing! No, I'm not being sarcastic!" James added, seeing the look on Remus's face " This is an excuse to go the other way around and explore the school while we're doing so! And Rose can't throw a fit, Because she would get upset with you!" 

"I don't know…" mumbled Remus

"Have I ever steered you wrong?" asked James folding his arms.

"I've only known you for eight hours! You haven't had a chance yet!2 cried Remus

"…Think of all the chances I've had! On the way up to the school, on the train, back at platform nine and three quarters, also…"

"I get the point!"

"Great!" Said James enthusiastically, staring down the corridor again. 

"The things I do for friendship," mumbled Remus

"It's all about giving and taking!" said James before starting off into a long ramble about the merits of friendship.

"This could be a long night, yawned Remus.

****

Chapter 9 

"Good morning sweetie!" said Rose, happily, shoving Lily over and nearly knocking her of the Gryffindor table all together. 

"Rose!" coughed Lily, chocking on a mouthful of cereal she had just swallowed when Rose had jumped up behind her.

"So how'd you sleep?" Rose asked.

" Um….fine thanks" replied Lily.

"What you're first lesson?" 

"Oh um it's herboilgy!"

Just then 4 tired and tattered looking boys walked into the hall and sat at the table.

"Morning Jamsie, Remmie, Siri and Petie!" Rose cheered.

"Don't call me that!" shouted James.

"Please don't," added Remus.

"Stuff it Rose!" remarked Sirius.

"Leave me alone," finished Peter.

"I think they like my new nick names!" said Rose

"Shut up!" The boys replied.

"Well some people woke up on the wrong side of reality today!" said Lily.

"James got us lost last night!" sighed Remus

"I'm telling you those staircases moved on me!" mentioned James.

"I guess you and Remus didn't get any sleep," Peter asked James

"Ah you're all against me! It's a conspiracy!" James yelled loud enough for nearly the whole hall to hear him.

"Can the dramatics James and eat " said Lily "and after that you should maybe go find a hair brush how can you walk round with your hair like that?" she demanded.

" Hey it may be a mess but it' my mess and I'm proud of it thank you!." Shouted James. 

Lily looked across the table at the four hopeless looking boys. James was trying to make his hair go flat, Sirius was very carefully to aim beans at Peter who was not taking any notice while Remus was attempting to stay awake it looked like any minute he would fall asleep face down in his food. Lily laughed under her breath.

****

Chapter 10

"What did you call me!?" shouted Sirius

"Stupid and moronic! But I guess I should say deaf as well!" Severus said.

"Do you ever shut up? I suppose… I have to be a little admiring.. I mean, It must be hard to emit garbage 24/7!" retorted Sirius.

" That must of taken a lot for you to think up! Sometimes I wonder if you even have a brain!" Hissed Severus.

"Well you must find it hard to even get proper thought in your hard what with your issues and everything?" Sirius said in a relaxed voice.

"What are you implying?" Severus questioned.

" We all know that a nice white straight jacket would suit you," Sirius started, "and of course you remember those from your time in Dale down Asylum, don't you?"

Rose was sitting between Sirius and Severus, she was going slowly insane her eyes darting back and forth between the two boys. She finally got up and shouted at the top of her voice.

"GROW UP!" She then stormed out of the room slamming the door behind her.

"Well she's in a bad moos today, see Snape look what you and your big mouth did now! " grumbled Sirius.

"I HEARD THAT!" Rose voiced screamed from a distance.

"Where's she think she's going any way?" mumbled Snape.

"Don't you guys know?" said Sophie Roberts a Hufflepuff, 3rd year " She practically adore that Slytherin guy.. You know.. Um I can't think of his name but she's meeting up with him and his sister, Lucia and that second year kid Arthur to study in the Library!" she said happily Sirius shook his head in disbelief.

"She likes Malfoy?" Sirius asked in disbelief trying hard to hold back his laughter.

Sophie nodded 

" But I heard she has eyes for that Lupin kid too!" Squealed Sophie.

"Hear that? At the rate she's going through boys you might even get a chance with her Snape!" Sirius said while nudging Severus with his elbow.

"Shut up Sirius!" Snape Shouted.

"Sorry Snape all I just heard was 'blah blah blah'" replied Sirius. 

"SHUT UP SIRIUS YOU LOSER!!" Sophie and Snape shouted.

"Oh no insulted by two people I hate the most, that will scar me for life!" Sirius said trying to sound hurt.

"Oh go do homework!" Snape yelled.

"Oh Snape found my weak spot, well if you insist I have history of magic to attend it's amazing how someone can make battles and blood boring!" said Sirius taking his leave.

****

Chapter 11

A month had past and the school grounds were covered in a thick layer of golden and red leaves. All the boys, except James were outside by the crystal clear lake, Peter was watching Sirius scribbling down a new scheme to release upon Snape, which involved a bag of dung bombs and some well placed chairs. While Remus and Lily were lying amongst the leaves staring at the sky. Suddenly James burst through the main doors and run over to his friends making leaves fly in every direction.

"Guys guess what!!?" James shouted in a alarmed voice.

"What you finally found you're brain?" Sirius remarked looking up from his piece of plot covered parchment.

James at last reached them he stopped and trying caught his breath. 

"You…know…Halloweens…in…4.…days?" he panted.

"Yeah?" they all replied.

"Well…I over heard the teachers…"

"You mean you were spying on them?" Peter questioned.

"What ever!… any way there planning a Halloween dance!" James yelled almost I pain. But it seemed his fellow friends didn't quite get the message.

"You know dance? Boys and Girls together? Dates?" James explained. He realized the message had got through by the look of fear on the other boys faces.

"COOL!" Squealed Lily with excitement.

"Not cool!" Sirius said. 

"Do we have to go?" squeaked Peter

"Yeah and we have to have dates!" James yelped.

"Oh man how are _we_ going to find dates in 4 days?" Sirius grumbled. "Someone shot me!"

"There's always me?" said Lily fluttering her eyelashes " I wouldn't mind one of you fine gentlemen escorting me to the dance!" 

"Gentlemen?" Said Sirius bursting into laughter shortly followed by James.

"Huh?" Said Lily with indignation " Oh, I'm sure Remus would like to go with me!" Lily said while hugging Lupin, who turned bright red in the face "you'll go with me won't you?" she asked.

"Sure I will" he whispered in a small voice, blushing furiously. 

(A/N: Lily get you're stinking hands of my Lupin!)

Suddenly Sirius and James stopped laughing.

"Well that's not fair!" they both screamed.

" Now we have no chance!" Whimpered Sirius

"Why don't you just go with each other?" Remus asked.

"EW! REMUS!" James and Sirius said taking a step away from each other.

"Aw, I'm sure you two would make a really cute couple!" Peter stated.

"You're not gay too are you Peter? Remus what have you done to him?!" James exclaimed.

"I'm not gay!!" Remus yelled.

"I don't know you sure act like it?" Sirius said in a cocky voice.

"Shut up!" Remus shouted.

Everyone went silent. Lily let go of Remus's arm as though he was a bomb about to explode. " Any way," spoke Sirius "How are we going to get dates?"

"Ok I'm scared," Peter said giving a worried look at Sirius.

Yet again James ran off towards the castle and vanished through the doors with out.

"What an idiot!" Said Lily talking about James. " Well come on then Remmie! Lets go see what you have to wear." Lily said taking up Lupin's arm again. 

(A/N: Lily Evans get your hands off him!)

So Lily dragged Remus off into Hogwarts. Leaving Sirius and Peter on their own. 

"Wait a minute!" Sirius suddenly said "If she's gone to look at Remus's clothes she'll go into the boys dorm!" 

"Yeah you're point being?" asked Peter.

"I don't know I just thought I would make conversation." Sirius shrugged. "But I guess we might as well go up and make fun of Lupin!" Sirius said, as he began to walk back up to the castle, followed by Peter.

****

Chapter 12

Peter and Sirius had a great time laughing at Remus while Lily went through all his clothes complaining how old and tatty they were. Nearly all of Lupin's clothes had patches sewn on them or completely covered with dust. 

"You need new clothes!" she screamed "All of these are so old!" 

"They were my dad's." Remus whispered.

"Well maybe you should ask him for your own." she stated holding up a old shirt.

"Um…my dad's dead." Remus whispered lowering his voice further.

"Oh my gosh I'm so sorry!" Lily said going over and hugging Remus again who blushed again.

"That's ok he has been dead for 7 years now," Remus said. Peter, Sirius and Lily had gone completely silent. 

"What about your mum?" Peter asked.

"Oh she left my dad and I when I was 2." I went dead silent. No-one even moved. Except Lupin who moved over to his cupboard and took out a large blue shoe box. 

"What about this?" He asked Lily as he handed her the box. She opened it and in side was a pair of white trousers and a blue polo neck shirt they both looked bran new.

"Those will do just perfectly!" she squealed. "We're going to be the cutest couple there!" Sirius and Peter both burst out laughing again. 

"I don't know." started Remus " I think the cutest couple will still be James and Sirius!" Sirius stopped laughing but Peter nearly fell off the bed crying with giggles.

"Presenting your new dance king," began Lily "Mr James Harry Potter! And your dance Queen.."

"Don't you dare Lily!" Growled Sirius.

"Mr Sirius…ur…ur…what's your middle name?" Lily asked.

"None of your business!" Shouted Sirius.

"I bet it's a girl name isn't it!" Peter questioned. At that point Sirius sent a punch straight at Peters face. Peter ducked and ran out of the dorm. Just as Peter left James entered

"Asked what your middle names is didn't he?" James said in a casual voice.

"Yeah the little RAT!" Sirius mumbled 

(A/N: Hee hee)

"So James where have you been?" Asked Lily trying now to find a pair of shoes for Remus.

"I just went and found me a date!" James said in a triumphant drawl.

"WHO?" Lily asked in a interested voice.

"With Isabella Figg!" He said. Sirius, Lily and Remus burst out into giggles. "What?" James asked.

"Isabella was the best you can do?" Sirius asked.

"Hey shut up!" James shouted "She's more attractive then Lily!" 

They all stopped giggling. "Well!" She huffed "At least my date is clever, and sophisticated, and cute…"

"And gay!" Sirius called out.

"I'M NOT GAY!" Remus yelled.

****

Chapter 13

Sirius and Peter were on the 4th floor corridor discussing what they were going to do to get dates.

"Anyway we get a chair a pair of your socks…" Sirius stared.

"Sirius were trying to get dates not attack Snape!" Peter stated.

"Oh right!" Sirius said embarrassed. "Well I'm going for Madison Terrier!" Sirius said. "She's that girl who keeps looking at me in that really giggly way!"

"I think she was checking out Remus?" Peter said.

"Cool more of a challenge!" Sirius said coolly "Just have to lay down some Sirius Style!" Peter went silent for a minute.

"Some what?" he asked

"You know Sirius style, when I…uh…never mind!" Sirius sighed "Now come along my little peppy friend!" Sirius said while running down the stairs.

" The things I do for friendship!" Peter sighed.

****

Chapter 14 

A day before Halloween everyone had found a date, Even Peter! Sirius had managed to get Madison to go with him after many threatening letters. James was still going with Isabella and Lily with Remus, and Peter was going with a Ravenclaw girl called Alison Mill. Everyone in the school was in high spirits even when they had to do Potions! Potions was taught by Mr Darry, He was the meanest teacher in the school. Once he even took 30 points from Gryffindor when Sirius had called Severus a…

"Greasy git! and he took 30 points! 3o!" Sirius exclaimed as the gang were making their way to Defence against the dark arts. "Can you believe it!"

"We believed the last 18 times you told us, so I think we still believe you Sirius!" James whined, as the others nodded in agreement.

****


	2. What ever next?

****

A/N: Hope you liked the first chapter and I'm trying to make this one a bit shorter! I do realise that I took a paragraph from the last chapter! Hopefully even make this more exciting! 

****

Chapter 14 

A day before Halloween everyone had found a date, Even Peter! Sirius had managed to get Madison to go with him after many threatening letters. James was still going with Isabella and Lily with Remus, and Peter was going with a Ravenclaw girl called Alison Mill. Everyone in the school was in high spirits even when they had to do Potions! Potions was taught by Mr Darry, He was the meanest teacher in the school. Once he even took 30 points from Gryffindor when Sirius had called Severus a…

"Greasy git! and he took 30 points! 3o!" Sirius exclaimed as the gang were making their way to Defence against the dark arts. "Can you believe it!"

"We believed the last 18 times you told us, so I think we still believe you Sirius!" James whined, as the others nodded in agreement.

" Yeah but 30!" Sirius moaned.

"OH SIRIUS WOULD YOUY SHUT UP ALREADY!" Lily screamed. Everyone else went quite and stood there in silence their eyes fixed on Lily. "Thank you." She sighed and carried on walking. 

"Wow that one has a temper!" Remus whispered, the rest of the boys nodded their heads in agreement. And they shortly followed Lily into the defence against the dark arts room. Inside were all the other Gryffindor doors and unfortunately, much to Sirius's disgust they were with the Slytherins.

"Oh man!" Sirius groaned slumping in a near by chair next to James " Why out of all the house's did it have to be Slytherin?"

"Just lucky I guess…" Came a drawling voice from behind them, they all turned around to come face to face with Severus Snape.

" Oh no what do _you _want!?" James asked.

"Only to say good morning of course." Snape smirked and peered down at the boys one by one until he came to Remus and there was a quick glance of hatred. But Remus just stared back with his bright amber eyes.

"Can I help you…Severus?" Remus questioned in a dignified manner. But Snape just continued to stare at him.

"Well if you don't want anything you might as well bugger off!" Sirius said

"SIRIUS WATCH YOUR TONGUE!" Lily hissed. She then smiled softly at Snape "Sorry about _him_ Severus."

"Lily are you friends with him?" Peter stuttered.

"We talked quite a bit the other night." Lily said gently.

"I better not of been about me!" Sirius spat.

"Or my socks!" Peter squeaked.

(A/N: Sorry could not resist)

"Or my you know what!" James added. Everyone else just stared at him.

"Why would they want to talk about your dick?" Sirius asked.

"What…gross no I meant my pyjamas Sirius you idiot!" James yelled. At this point Sirius knew he had a to good of opportunity to pass. So he took in a deep breath and yelled.

"WHAT JAMES YOU MEAN YOU'RE BLUE PAJAMAS WITH THE TEDDIE BEARS ON WHICH YOUR MUM BOUGHT FOR YOU?" Sirius finished then suddenly the whole room filled up with laughter even Lily began to giggle insanely. 

James turned as red as Lily's hair " Oh low low Sirius but I will have my revenge!" James hissed. Really the only person who was not laughing was Remus who had fallen asleep on the desk. And Yet again through his laughs Sirius found another opportunity.

"WELL AT LEAST YOU DON'T SUCK YOUR THUMB LIKE REMUS!!!" Sirius Screamed. And the up roar of laughs increased even Snape was nearly crying with laughter. "Did you hear me Remus you suck your thumb!…Remus Hello? Remus?"

Sirius poked the sleeping Lupin but he would not wake up.

"Yo, Remus little buddy? James said this time shoving Remus, who then slid off the desk and landed with a thud on the stone floor. 

"What…you do that….for?" Remus yawned getting back up on his chair and closing his eyes again.

"Lupin what's wrong?" Peter asked. But Remus was already asleep.

"Probably he finally found his brain last night!" Snape drawled.

"Oh Snape would you please just fuc…."Sirius began.

"SIRIUS!" Lily yelled. "I know what will wake him up!" Lily leaned over and kissed him on the cheek, but he carried on snoozing away. "Huh that usually works?" She turned around to see Peter, James and Sirius all pretending to sleep with their lips in a kissing position.

"Oh dream on!" Lily sighed. At that the boys re opened their eyes.

"Oh god you're still here Snape I told you to piss off!" Sirius warned.

Severus then turned to Lily " I'll see you tonight." He drawled before turning away. 

"Yeah" Lily said.

The other boys, apart from Remus just stared at Lily, But James turned around and yelled at Snape " Yeah and it wouldn't hurt if you tried washing your hair for the first time!"

Sirius and Peter began the burst into hysterics. 

" Hey I know what will wake little Lupin up!" Sirius stated.

"You're breath?" Lily remarked.

"Close…but way off!" Sirius smiled a evil grin and leaned over and kissed Remus oh the cheek. Remus stirred and opened his eyes and came face to face with a disgusted Sirius.

"I knew it you're Gay!" Sirius remarked. Lily and James saw the anger built up in Lupin's eyes.

"WHY DOES EVERYONE SEEM TO THINK I'M GAY! AND GIRLY! I'M NOT!" Remus screamed.

"Wow someone should lay off the coffee." James to Peter who nodded in a agreement.

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	3. A really short chapter!

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Chapter 15

Their defence against the dark arts lesson went up with a bang, Literally! Sirius and James had decided to place a exploding fire frog on Snape's chair and after about 10 seconds Severus was blown into the atmosphere with a huge BANG! While golden sparks fell every where. Of course Sirius and James were found out and forced to serve lunch time detention.

"There're such idiots!" Lily exclaimed dragging Peter and Remus behind her towards Gryffindor tower they arrived at the Portrait, and the fat lady in the pink dress sprang to life.

"Password?" She questioned

"Down with socks" Lily said in a casual voice. The fat lady looked at them and she swung open.

(A/N: I'm so sorry! But another author influenced me. It's like a disease)

"So when are we going to lunch?" Peter asked with eagerness.

"We could go now." Lily said " Just let me put my books away."

"Hey you guys go on I need to go to bed…." Remus yawned.

"Why? have you got a gay lover up there?" Asked Sirius as he entered the room followed by a ruffled looking James.

"I'M NOT GAY!!!!!!" Remus screamed before retreating towards the stairs " Oh and Sirius DON'T mess with things you don't understand!" He then left.

"Hey what crawled up inside his butt and died?" James stated

"Probably his Gay lover now come on let's go!" Sirius said.

"Oh god you boys are insensitive!" Lily yelled. Before walking up the stairs after Remus.

"Just ignore she most likely wants to make a huge scene for attention!" James grumbled. The three boys made their way through the portrait to go for lunch. Closely watched by a pair of Peter's socks!

(A/N: It's a disease I'm telling yah!)

A/N: I realise that this is a weird and very short chapter and I just need to warn you that the next when has less humour and more upsetting scenes YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!

Also check out my mates story madcat!

Many thanx to:

Ces granger- I can't tell u Sirius's middle name!

Madcat- Leave me alone Silje

And Rhdiah - Thanx for reviewing!


	4. Poor Remus

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A/N: Just a warning this chapter is very NONE funny, but it has a least one joke and is very short!

Chapter 16

When Lily entered the boys dorm…..

(A/N: Get out Lily…really these characters are so hard to control!)

she looked around and there she saw Remus, he was curled up in a little bundle on the end off his bed, fast asleep and breathing fast. Lily sneaked in to get a better look at Remus, she wanted to know what was wrong with him.

"Remus, Remus?….I wanted to talk to you." She whispered softly, while gently shaking him. She took a closer look at his face it looked different it wasn't soft and calm looking, it was pale and he had huge bags under his eyes while drips of sweat poured down his face.

"Remus please.." Lily said in a silently louder voice. Lupin stirred and woked up his bright amber eyes fixed on Lily.

"What?" He moaned.

"I just wanted to ask what was wrong?" She asked.

"I'm just peachy ok Lily!" He snapped at her violently.

"Well your obviously not!!" he said closing his eyes again.

"How would you know!"

"Because it's a full moon soon."

Remus's eyes burst open again he looked completely in shock. 

"How…did…you know?" Remus trailed off lowering his eyes.

"Because you show all the signs!" Lily sighed sitting down next to Remus and placing a tendering hand on his. "It's ok..It's ok."

"No it's not ok I could end up hurting one of you guys!" Remus sighed, tears swelling up in his huge eyes.

"No it's fine…I promise not to tell any one." She whispered.

"Thank you Lily." Remus spoke in a very calm voice.

"How long have you been a …." Lily started but suddenly the doors swung open to reveal James, Peter and Sirius. 

"Lily!" James said "What the hell are you doing up here?"

(A/N: That's what I've been asking her!)

Sirius took in what he saw before him, Lily and Remus on the bed holding hands?

(A/N: Wink wink, nudge, nudge, cough, cough)

"Oh Sorry Remus!" Sirius began " Didn't mean to be interupting anything!"

"There's nothing going on between Lily and I!" Remus shouted.

"Oh of course you don't swing that way, do you?" Sirius stated, just as Remus was about to anwser, Lily cut in.

"He is NOT gay!" she started " but I'm beginning to have second thoughts about you!"

"I'm not gay!" Sirius stammered.

"I wasn't talking about you!" Lily said "I meant James!"

Suddenly Sirius and Peter broke into fits of laughter even Remus began to giggle, his eyes lighting up again.

"Lily! What are you doing in the boys dorm anyway!?" James yelled.

"Just came up to talk to my DATE for tomorrows ball." Lily retorted.

She then got up and began to walk away, but before leaving she winked at James "I can't wait until I see you and Sirius together at the ball, you'll be the cutest couple ever!" Then she left.

"WE'VE GOT DATES!" James called after her "Ahh I hate her SO much!"

"I don't know" Peter began.

"What?" James asked, while going and falling onto his bed.

"You and Lily seemed to make a really good couple!" Peter teased.

"Yeah like that would ever happen Peter!!" Sirius moaned. 

(A/N: hehehehehe)

He went over to his trunk and pulled out a copy of "How to destroy your teachers will to live."

James glanced over at Lupin who had was staring into space. "Hey Lupin, I've go some thing to cheer you up!" James smiled.

"James you know as well as me that girls don't shower at this time in the day!" Sirius yawned not even looking up from his book.

"No no that's not what I was thinking of!" James added.

"Then what?" Remus asked.

"Well it made me laugh when I found out.." James said.

"What?"

"Well our old buddie Sirius's middle name, get this, is.." James was about to reveal all but all of a sudden Sirius had tackled into him and had James pinned down on the floor, with is wand in hand.

"I swear James mutter anything and I'll peirce your mouth shut!" Sirius threatened.

"Ok Ok!" James said "Now get off me!" Sirius got off and went back his bed. 

"Man Sirius you're mad!" James sighed.

"I'm just being a good friend!"

"Does being a good friend mean being a complete jerk?" James asked

"Well if that's true you're the best friend I've ever had!" Sirius smirked.

"So Sirius what's our big prank plan for the halloween ball?" Peter asked.

"Well gather around my little friends.." Sirius said, a huge grin fixed upon his face as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a scrap of parchment, with one off his greatest plans ever written on it.

"Hey look!" Peter whispered "It's got Sirius's middle name on it!" 

"Oh my god Sirius!" Remus said trying hard not to burst into fits of laughter, as Sirius turned a shade of white. And aimed a punch straight at Remus's face, and this time it made contact. Remus was out for 2 hours.

A/N: Well that's it for now! I've already stared writing the next chapter so hold on it's going to be a bumpy ride!

Many thanx to:

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~*~KiKi~*~: Thanks for the review keep reading! It get's better!

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Ces Granger: I'm sorry I can't tell you Sirius's middle name…..yet!

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Silver cloudpeace: Did it really make you laugh that much?

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Madcat: Leave me alone Padfoot!


	5. Purple monkeys and snapping toliet seats...

A/N: Now time for a more random part of the story. Sorry it took FOREVER to write! Any right now I'm hyper on coffee, chocolate and chipmunks!!!

The Halloween ball was going smoothly. Arthur Weasly was getting down to the groove. And Dumbledore was attempting to perform a muggle dance called 'the Macarena.' 

It seemed it was going to be the perfect night, until…

Suddenly all the lights went out, leaving the guests in gloom. Then the centre of the room was glowing for 4 boy's wands.

"Are you ready ladies?" Sirius asked aloud in an echoed voice.

All the girls took a couple of steps back. And all four boys took a step forward. They each pointed their wands out at the crowd, who took in a huge deep breath, but then they pointed their wands at the ceiling. And all called at the same time…

"Accio bopbox!!" A box the size of a small car suddenly appeared from the ceiling and stopped floating just above the boys heads. 

"We have decided to give all of you people a special treat!" James bellowed.

Suddenly a huge whisper broke out

"So do you want it?" Remus asked the hall. Nearly everyone nodded, some looked very worried, while others where running for the door.

"It's no use with locked the doors!" Sirius hollered.

(A/N: Wait a sec I didn't agree to that!)

"Well sorry babe but you no longer have control over us!!" James laughed. As thunder struck in the background.

(A/N: NO! MY POWERS ARE FADING……..)

"Anyway, let's do it!" cackled Sirius. Remus and Peter pulled two robes which hung by the side of the bright purple box. They tugged on the ropes and sticky purple slime flooded out of the box and covered everyone in gunk!

"Mwhahahahh Mwhahahahahh!" the four boys laughed. And made a run for the door, unlocking it with a spell that Lupin had found. They raced around till they were on the second floor.

"Hahahah that was brilliant!" Sirius snorted while doing a random dance.

(A/N: Thank you Silje)

"Wait guys" Remus suddenly stopped "What about our dates?"

"Oh! Screw them." Sirius sighed.

"I can't believe we got away with that!!" Peter giggled.

"YOU DIDN'T!" The voice of Professor Darry hissed behind them. The boys spun around and came face to face with a vivid purple teacher, they had to control their laughter.

"So who's idea was this?! Who's the ringleader?" Darry stormed.

"James!" Sirius blurted out.

"SIRIUS!!" The other boys said in union.

"So you planned this!" Hissed Darry.

"Oh Shit." Sirius murmured.

Darry dragged Sirius back to his office and throw him behind his desk. 

"You Boy while receive 5 detentions!!" Darry spat

"Nothing to it." Sirius sighed leaning back on his chair.

"Fine 7 detentions."

"Your just boring me."

"Ok! 12!"

"Oh I'm soooo scared" Sirius mocked.

"18!" 

"Oh getting warm!"

"56 DETENTIONS!"

"Ok I'll stop now…" Sirius whispered, with the grin wiped off his face.

A/N: Strange? Well it gets worse! Mwhahahahahahahahahahahahah….*gasp*..hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhah…*gasp*..hahahahahaha..ect ect ect 


	6. It's Godzilla! run for your lives!

A/N:mwhahahahahahaahhahaha…*gasp*…Mwhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah…*gasp*……hahahahah…Ok I'll stop now.

Sirius came back from his detention in a huge strop. And collapsed onto a sofa in the Gryffindor common room.

"So what happened?" James asked who was sitting next to Sirius.

"THOSE DAMN TOLIET SEATS KEPT SNAPPING AT ME!"

"How do you mean?" 

"What I mean is that they kept BITING ME!!" Sirius went red in the face from anger and clenched his fist.

"It could have been worse!" Peter stated.

"How could of it got any worse dumb ass!?" Yelled Sirius.

"You could have been told to clean out all the socks from the cupboards!"

(A/N: Clean out all the socks? Why didn't I think of that?)

Suddenly there was a small, soft, snore in the room, and all the boys immediately turned to Remus, who was curled up in a little ball on an arm chair, by the fire. He was sound asleep and sucking his thumb.

"Are you guys thinking what I'm thinking?" Sirius grinned wickedly. Peter and James had already taken out there wands and had walked over to unsuspecting Lupin. But before they could do anything Lily entered through the portrait hole. 

"What are you guys doing?" She asked, looking from James to Sirius to Peter to Remus.

"Nothing!" The three little 'angels' said together. 

"Hey! Wait a minute what were you doing out so late?" James enquired, eyeing Lily suspiciously.

"Um…nothing…Um... Gosh is that the time?" Lily gave a huge fake yawn "Well I'm off to bed"

Lily ran up the stairs…

(A/N: Followed by a pair of socks)

…and slammed her dorm room door.

"She's up to something!" Peter murmured.

"Yup and it's our duty as gentlemen to find out what….. and make fun of her!" Sirius smiled. 

"But first." James pointed back at Remus. They counted up to three together and then pointed their wands at Lupin, then a noise the same as a siren went off right in Lupin's ear. Remus stirred, but didn't wake. 

"Damn, he's strong, but we shall break him…" Sirius moaned.


	7. Fights and Farts

A/N: My goal is to get 1 more review then Silje! GGGRRRRR! SO PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!

The marauders shadowed Lily like a…well shadow. It was about midnight when Lily had left and she was obviously going somewhere important.

"Ah!" James whispered "Peter you stepped on my heel!"

"Sorry, it's just Sirius keeps poking me!" Peter sighed.

All four boys had some how managed to fit under James invisibility cloak. 

"You guys we're going to get caught!" Remus whimpered.

"Now that's not the kind of attitude we need right now." James whispered "Wait a second who farted?"

"Guilty!" Sirius owned up.

"EWWW!" The others complained.

"What some times it just can't be helped! But out then in!"

"I don't know how much more of this I can take." Remus sighed "I'm starting to feel really tired."

"Wait there she goes! Why is she going to the Library?" James asked.

They followed Lily, as she quickly moved to the back of the book shelves to the study tables. And there was someone there already.

"Oh my god you guys!" Peter whispered "It's Snape!"

They hid behind a shelf and removed the cloak.

"Oh good I can breathe again!" James choked

"It wasn't that bad!" Sirius hissed.

"Why the hell would she want to be with Snape?" James asked, removing a book off the shelf to make himself a small peep hole.

"I Dunno." Sirius said "Hey! That's a pretty cool saying, we should hand it down to our kids!"

"Nah! It will never catch on"

(A/N: Yeah right!)

"Did you hear something?" Sirius enquired.

(A/N :………)

"No it must have been your imagination mate." James assured him.

"What do you think their doing?" Peter asked.

"Planning world domination with the gofers!" Sirius suggested, receiving odd looks from James and Peter.

"Snape maybe, but I don't think Lily is capable of it!" James said "Wait where's Lupin?"

The boys looked around until they saw him lying on the floor fast asleep. And yet again sucking his thumb.

"What is this guys problem!?" Sirius sighed.

"Severus, did you hear something?" Lily's voice sounded, as she got off her chair and made her way over to where the boys where seeking cover closely followed by Snape.

"SHE'S COMING OVER!!" Peter hissed. The boys panicked and crawled quickly over behind the next shelf. "OH GOD WE LEFT REMUS!" They looked around the corner and saw him still snoozing. Sirius removed his shoe and threw it at Lupin's head. And he didn't wake.

Lily and Snape came around the corner and found Remus still sleeping peacefully.

"REMUS LUPIN!" She yelled, and with this Lupin awoke startled.

"Man, she's good." James whispered.

"WHERE YOU SPYING ON US!?" Lily demanded, but she then noticed the shoe at his head, and when she picked it up it read inside Sirius's name.

"SHIT!" Sirius spat "That has my middle name in it!" James and Peter looked like they were about to wet themselves with laughter. "IT'S NOT FUNNY!"

"SIRIUS.G.BLACK AND GANG I KNOW YOU'RE IN HERE!" Lily shouted "COME OUT NOW OR REMUS GETS IT!" Remus's amber eyes went huge, as Lily lifted him up and shoved him to Snape to hold.

"You don't scare us Lily and Remus isn't scared of you either!" Sirius called out.

"Yes he is." Lupin replied.

"No your not!"

"Yes I am!"

"NO YOUR NOT!"

"YES I AM!!"

"Oh please don't start this again!" James whispered to Sirius. "Come on we better move, they threw the invisibility cloak of themselves and crept over to the 'W' section. And rested their backs against the shelves, just then a heavy Teal Blue book fell on James's head. And he picked it up and began to read.

"Right that's it!" Lily warned "Remus gets it!" She moved over to Lupin and took out her wand and muttered a spell.

"NNNOOOOOOO!" The boys heard Remus howl. They winced and then everything went silent. 

"Hey guys." James said "Look at this book, any of this fit together to you?"

They studied the book.

"What's the title?" Peter closed the book called '_Werewolves: Creatures of the night'_

A/N: Mwhahahah so the boys now know do they? And what has Lily done to my poor Remus? Keep reading to know more!


	8. Dog pile

A/N: Ok sorry if there are thousands of mistakes in this chapter!

Remus spent all the day in the bathroom, trying every spell he new to remove the vivid pink and acid yellow off his skin. Then went and collapsed on his bed, heaving a huge sigh.

Just then Sirius, James and Peter entered and stood in front of him. James and Peter looked worried, while Sirius looked almost upset.

"Look Lupin, we need to tell you something…" Sirius owned up, rubbing the back of his neck. Remus sat up as Sirius sat next to him on the bed. Sirius looked deeply into his friend's eyes, which were full of worry and softness. "We know about you…"

Silence crept into the room as Remus analyzed what he had just heard. "What do…you…mean that you know?"

"We know about you being a…a." James swallowed hard and dropped his voice "About you being a werewolf."

All the life fell out of Remus's eyes. And the colour left his cheeks, he lowered his head and silent tears trickled down his face. "Let me guess you don't want to be my friends anymore…That's what everyone else did…just discarded me. And I'll understand if you want to do that."

"What are you talking about Remus!?" Sirius asked "If that's what they did then they couldn't call themselves friends."

"You mean, you want to still be my friends?" Sniffed Remus, wiping away some tears with his robe sleeve.

"Of course we do." Sirius leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Remus, who cried softly onto Sirius's shoulder and began to shake softly. "It's ok….we're all here for you."

James and Peter soon felt left out, watching Remus and Sirius hug.

"Dudes!" James and peter sobbed, then joining in the group cuddle. "We have to make a promise…"

"What?" the others sniffed.

"We have to make a promise." James repeated "A promise to never leave each other,"

"Yeah!" Peter agreed "and stay together, through thick and thin."

"Never leaving each others sides!" Remus smiled.

"And eat all the chocolate frogs we can stuff!" Sirius shouted. "But what should we be called?"

They sat in silence until Peter added a suggestion "What about the night hunters?"

"Nah!" everyone else shook their head.

"I know..." Remus started "immoral wizards." They disagreed again.

"What about girl catchers?" Sirius recommended "Or the pranksters."

"No!" James said "What about the Marauders?"

"I like it!" Remus beamed.

"OK!" Sirius stood up on the bed "From this day forth we shall be known as THE MARAUDERS!!"

"Hey don't stand on my bed, Remus got up and tackled Sirius back.  
"DOG PILE!!" James yelled, jumping on Sirius and Remus, shortly followed by Peter. 

(A/N: Hint…Hint…Dog pile…on Sirius! You know...oh never mind!)

Just then Lily entered the room and stood their speechless at the sight of the boys "Oh I'm sorry if I'm disturbing you…go back as you were Gaylord's!" and with that she sprinted into the girls dorm.

"NO! LILY!" James screamed "IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE! I hate that girl…"

"Oh!" Peter mocked "Jamsie boy has a crush!"

Suddenly the muffled voice of Sirius sounded from the bottom of the dog pile. "You guys, please could you get off me!"

"Not until you shout out you middle name…" James threatened.

"NEVER!" The stifled voice shouted.   
"Fine! Then no escape away for you!"

"Ok fine…." Sirius was about to shout out his name until the author cut straight to the end of the chapter! 

A/N: Ok bye! I'm going to lick some alligators!


	9. Serious Sirius Style!

****

A/N: Man it's been ages since I last updated! I've just been busy with homework so sorry! But here it is! DON'T EVER TRUST ELROND PEOPLE! HE WILL DRAG YOU INTO THE MATRIX!

The Marauders sat in History of Magic completely bored out of their trouble-free minds. Sirius had gone back to flicking rubber bands at another first year called Lucy Moore. And Remus was fast asleep on the desk, snoring lightly. Peter looked as though he was about to kill himself, so James took away his pencils, because Peter might of tried to stab himself with them. Just then James felt a piece of paper slip into his hand. It was a note, scribbled onto a scrap piece of parchment. He carefully unfolded it under the desk and began to read.

__

To Jamie,

This might sound kind of weird but I really like you!

Really like you!

I watched you the other day when you tripped on your 

Robes and fell down the stairs

I really couldn't help but giggle!

I would really love to meet up with you?

Please if you want to meet me, 

Come to the Library at 7 o'clock tomorrow night.

Love

Your secret admirer!

James read the letter over again…and again…and yet again! Until it finally sunk in.

(A/N: man he's slow!)

He had a secret admirer…..but who? He turned around and gazed at his fellow class mates. The Gryffindors were with the Ravenclaws, who were also bored out of their simple brains. James looked about and saw Lucy Moore trying to endure Sirius's non-stop elastic band flicking, But she was to spooky for James, she practised the dark arts way to much! Madison Terrier? Could be…. What about Isabella Figg, no after dumping her at the Halloween dance, he very much doubted it!

He prayed to God it wasn't Micheal Wood, Quidditch addict. He would get high on anything to do with the sports. James spotted the red haired Arthur Weasly at the back of the class, and shook his head, no way. He then saw Jenny Orr, staring out the window; it could be her, although she went a bit strange after having coffee.

(A/N: It's true!I've had 8 espressos in 1 hour today!)

Then he saw Lily and a Ravenclaw boy called Thomas Hoffman, chatting to each other. No way, not Lily! Couldn't be, so he searched the class again. Just then the class bell rang madly to signal lunch and everyone in the class let out a huge sigh!

(A/N: even me!)

As everyone filed out, James felt his stomach lurch. Should he tell the others or would he be laughed at, he had to tell them, and break it to them gently. The Marauders were the last ones in the class room after, Professor Binns walked out.

(A/N: Yes he's still alive!!)

"Um guys I need to tell you something…" James sweated a little "well actually ask for your help…"

"Yeah?" Sirius asked, packing some more dung bombs into his bag "what is it Jimmie?"

"I was given this is class…" James handed the love note to his friends, blushing slightly at the cheeks.

Sirius took one look and burst into fits of laughter.

"It's not funny!" James yelled.

"Yeah, Jamie's got his first love letter!" Remus yawned "it's cute!"

Sirius stepped away from Remus "Dude you really are gay…"

Remus's blood boiled in his veins. "I'M NOT GAY!" And with that he stormed out.

"Guys what am I going to do!?" James groaned, falling into a chair.

"Don't worry Jimmy!" Sirius patted James on the back "Peter, maybe Remus and I will help you!"

"Really?" James enquired, looking up to Peter and Sirius.

"SURE!" Sirius said with glory in his voice "All you have to do is lay down some Sirius Style!"

"Some what?" Peter and James asked in union.

"Sirius style!" Sirius stated "you know where I…oh never mind just follow me and you'll find out!"


	10. Remiata?

A/N: Hiya guys thanks for all your reviews! I know this has taken ages its just I was completely stuck for ideas, along with the fact I was updating under a different account!

"Now," Said Sirius, pacing back and forth "to start off, you need to know how to talk to girls."

"Ok…." James sighed uncertainly, leaning back in his chair.

"Well, to tell you the truth we couldn't get a real girl…….so." Sirius strode out of the room and dragged Remus in, who was wearing a very fake blonde wig and pink blusher on his already blushing cheeks.

"I hate you guys so much right now…" Remus clarified, folding his arms.

"Quit complaining." Peter snapped, also walking into the room, obviously he had applied the make up to Remus.

"Now, Remus you sit next to James….that's right and Peter…um…you can be a random person in the background."

"Whatever…" Peter muttered.

"Right, James, lets see what you got."

James and Remus blushed animatedly and sat there in silence.

"Dude!" James complained at Sirius "I can't do this…."

"WHY NOT!" Black shouted.

"It's Remus for crying out loud!!"

Sirius sighed "look let me show you how it's done in the professional league."

"Be my guest," James stood up, and Sirius took up the space. 

"Now watch closely Jimmy boy."

Remus stared at his feet, trying not to make eye contact with Sirius.

"So…Remiata, do you come here often?"

James and Peter burst into fits of laughter.

"What?" Sirius enquired.

"You actually use that line!?" James had tears of delight in his eyes. He reached under his glasses and wiped away his tears.

"No, I'm telling you mate…" Sirius defended "It works, they think it's cute!"

"Yeah whatever." Peter giggled "Just don't tell them your middle name!!"

Remus and James fell on the floor laughing their head off. Sirius throw looks of fire at them.

"Yeah Sirius Ga…." But before James could finish, Sirius had landed onto of James.

"IT'S A FAMILY NAME OK!!" Sirius yelled.

"Ok Sirius," James chuckled "Easy boy…"

Sirius stood up and brushed off invisible dust "Right you don't want my help…fine!"

James wanted to know, he had to know who is crush was. But did he have to guts to do it?

A/N: ok next chapter he goes to the library!! Boring so far?


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